第一，字?jǐn)?shù)過(guò)長(zhǎng)。有的居然達(dá)到了1400字。Ps應(yīng)該在800字左右，很多學(xué)校明確規(guī)定ps是300到500字，還有的學(xué)校要求是3500個(gè)字符之內(nèi)。因此，除非特別要求，大家前往不要把ps寫(xiě)得太長(zhǎng)，否則你千辛萬(wàn)苦努力的結(jié)果就是人家看也不看，仍進(jìn)垃圾桶了。密歇根大學(xué)在其ps要求中提到的，你要follow required format and word limits

   第二，ps第一段，大家寫(xiě)作各有各的風(fēng)格，但普遍存在文不對(duì)題空喊口號(hào)的問(wèn)題。大家要把第一段寫(xiě)得獨(dú)特和吸引眼球（Make your opening statement and first paragraph to be eye-catching and unique）。有的同學(xué)是拿著自己人生中一段非凡的經(jīng)歷開(kāi)始，不過(guò)，這種經(jīng)歷肯定是要與專(zhuān)業(yè)有關(guān)的，否則就不要去寫(xiě)。有的同學(xué)以自己的家鄉(xiāng)或者院校出了名人去寫(xiě)，就是離題太遠(yuǎn)了。有個(gè)同學(xué)寫(xiě)自己申請(qǐng)經(jīng)濟(jì)，結(jié)果上來(lái)就談起了自己高中喜歡讀莎士比亞喜歡問(wèn)問(wèn)題，然后突然轉(zhuǎn)到自己非常喜歡研究經(jīng)濟(jì)。大家應(yīng)該想想，這種思路是否讓人暈頭轉(zhuǎn)向。還有的直接就寫(xiě)想申請(qǐng)某某院校的某某專(zhuān)業(yè)，然后就完了開(kāi)始第二段，這種開(kāi)頭完全就是廢話。有的同學(xué)反復(fù)照抄網(wǎng)上所謂的范文，一點(diǎn)新意也沒(méi)有，看下面這句。Forrest Gump’s mom said life was like a box a chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. She’s right. On my 13th Birthday, besides a big chocolate cake, I also got a card。。。

　　Ps第一段應(yīng)該以言簡(jiǎn)意賅的語(yǔ)言精練地提出文章的亮點(diǎn)所在，開(kāi)頭不宜故弄玄虛，不宜寫(xiě)成抒情散文，應(yīng)該開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山。有的同學(xué)申請(qǐng)博士，還在第一段談起了初中的東西，并且語(yǔ)言非常不地道，翻譯痕跡非常重。比如這句However, my brave nature dominated and made me stand again to confront the unsuccessfulness.

　　另外，不要用第三人稱(chēng)寫(xiě)。有的同學(xué)這樣寫(xiě)，“Hey, it works!” the little boy was swamped with a sense of satisfaction。。。the little boy, actually I, has been in love with the fascinating...個(gè)人陳述是寫(xiě)個(gè)人的，不要站在第三者角度，否則那就是推薦信了。

　　第三，下面談?wù)勚虚g部分。很多人寫(xiě)完第一段后，馬上就開(kāi)始這樣的句式，Born in...,...Province in China on August 22,1980, after the National University Entrance Examination in 2000, I was accepted by XXX. Upon the acceptance, my major became…Here, I received strict training not only in ….but also in …大家一定記住，ps不要去重復(fù)其它留學(xué)文書(shū)，比如推薦信和簡(jiǎn)歷中將要出現(xiàn)的內(nèi)容。不要都說(shuō)，你以多少的成績(jī)考入了什么大學(xué)，是什么專(zhuān)業(yè)，然后開(kāi)始列舉出一堆獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)。我們看看康乃爾大學(xué)ps寫(xiě)作要求（http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/cornell.htm）. A personal statement is generally most effective when it concentrates on:（應(yīng)該集中在以下幾點(diǎn)時(shí)，ps才特別有說(shuō)服力）這些方面是： an issue or experience that you feel strongly about, or one that has helped to shape who you are ；a significant accomplishment or contribution you have made to your field or community。你一定要去掉那些自我陶醉的、含糊不清的、過(guò)于抽象的東西，不要列舉你得到了什么獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)（avoid self-congratulatory statements vague, abstract ideals laundry lists of achievements jargon and specialized vocabulary）

　　另外，大家都喜歡介紹自己的學(xué)校，但是你的介紹的要具體生動(dòng)，不要總喜歡用什么prestigious和famous之類(lèi)的話。有的同學(xué)這樣寫(xiě)道, I went into a Univ. which won great reputation in telecommunication and IT field in China. 什么叫g(shù)reat reputation，有什么具體概念嗎？大家不用停留在介紹學(xué)校方面，應(yīng)該通過(guò)這種介紹迅速轉(zhuǎn)入一點(diǎn)：你受到了high qualified的教育。

　　最大的問(wèn)題，ps不要寫(xiě)成流水帳，每個(gè)段落要有核心句子。比如有的同學(xué)這樣寫(xiě)道。In the first year , I was just a discreet learner, following the teacher’s step steadily . The second year , leader’s work in student government cost most of my time ,so I tried to be more efficient 這根本就不是.ps，只能算回憶錄。請(qǐng)注意：你要把最重要的信息放在段落的開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾（Put the most important sentences at the beginning and end of the paragraph. When people skim passages, they look at the first and then the last sentence. Make a good first and last impression with substantive statements. Don't begin or end on fluff.）

　　第四， 除非特別要求，不要寫(xiě)成問(wèn)答式的。有很多同學(xué)這樣寫(xiě)。First, My old dream played a key role in my decision-making，然后一大段介紹。Second, My solid academic background，然后下面再一大段。一直到第六個(gè)My Family background。還有的同學(xué)這樣寫(xiě)。WHY IS MATHEMATICS? WHY ME？這絕對(duì)不是ps，千千萬(wàn)萬(wàn)要避免這種回答。如同華盛頓大學(xué)ps寫(xiě)作要求中提到的（http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/wash.htm）Avoid overly common phrases and nonspecific information.（避免用那些太平常的詞組或者不具體的信息）。

　　第五， 不要寫(xiě)為國(guó)家和社會(huì)主義做貢獻(xiàn)之內(nèi)的比較空泛的話。Besides traveling to Taiwan, realizing the importance of experiencing the real world, in the past three years, I have grasped every opportunity to travel far and observe the dynamic society and economy of China.不要用同樣的句式，比如有的同學(xué)總是喜歡用impress deeply這樣的話，甚至一個(gè)段落中反復(fù)使用，要么就是不停地說(shuō)intelligent。還有的就是句式雷同，Computer animation is my favorite and first choice，然后隔兩句就寫(xiě)my primary and foremost interest lies in graphics and design。語(yǔ)言問(wèn)題還有頭重腳輕。比如Most computer majors look over this task because they consider it too easy; nonetheless, I do not agree.實(shí)際上，語(yǔ)言問(wèn)題還是小問(wèn)題。你可以花100元錢(qián)請(qǐng)個(gè)認(rèn)真負(fù)責(zé)的老外，找個(gè)學(xué)校的角落修改一下，一遍communicate what you wish to say。實(shí)際上，關(guān)鍵的問(wèn)題就是內(nèi)容設(shè)置和結(jié)構(gòu)布局。